Far too gone..

You let me go a long time ago.  

It’s the woman you used to be

That you can’t let go of, 

The woman you were when 

You were with me 

Is who YOU CANNOT GET OVER
I am just collateral damage 

Of your identity crisis 
Now, 

Here we are 

And somehow you think 

You can be in two places at once 
But you can’t be her, 

And be you too. 
Because those soft spoken words

that she used to whisper 

are now a silent voice misguided 

into tired ears. 
I can’t help but think 

of moments of clarity that

I have for you. 
The ones that drive every decision

I make mad for the unstable feelings

I get in return. 
At night I lay alone wanting to be 

with you, every thought, 

every wish coming together as 

one to fulfill a dream that  

I can look forward to. 
Focusing my actions of unwanted love 

leaves me to be an open 

target to those around me 

to bring me down, 

you are my weakness 

yet my strength, 

you are my hope but 

my lack of faith. 
I will always follow 

and desire you to be with 

me no matter the distance 

Or space. 
I am a sucker for your love. 
A puppet in your ruling hands

to an endless show. 

Your beauty is sourly 

tasted entwined with

your sweet soul. 
-SmileSick 

I fucked it all up. 


I love my broken thoughts of you too much to let go of this uncertain entity. 

Facing my demons every night, 
overcoming the feeling from the novacane, 

Not sure if I’m in love with you or lost in lust within your hell. 
I fucked it all up. 

To the point that I love my broken thoughts of you. 

-SmileSick 


Driving on empty streets, I come to a complete stop. 

Looking back at my rear view mirror, I see a reflection of my past. 

Facing west but desiring east,  you would think behind the wheel, I’d have a sense of direction. 

But truth unfolds I remain lost,  Catching street lights,  to see if you would catch up to me. 

And as my mind pounders on the thought of you, the light turns green. 

Asking me to go and leave you behind where you belong. 

-SmileSick 

  
I’ve always been one to open up and let anyone in. 

Too hurt, too many times to allow myself to fall for false hopes. 

But in the belief of wanting something more I’ve found myself searching for endless love in all the wrong places. 

Closing my doors to allow anyone in, 

you managed to sneak in. 
I’ll be lost without you, but when push comes to shove I’m not sure if I’ll ever trust you. 

I’ve learned to live on my own, but in this short period in time, I’m not sure what it’s like to not have you anymore. 

I’ve taken more than what I can afford. 

-SmileSick

My cry for help

My cry for help

I wrote down feelings

Convincing myself that

I am ok,

Truth is I’m not,

Too far from great

I wake up each day

In hopes of something more
They read and like but do they ever understand,
They relate to the idea of it

but can never comprehend,

the literacy.
Silent screams project throughout me

Onto the empty pages

Creating a cinematic story.
-SmileSick

5am

                              

Awake with my thoughts and dreams to be flourished onto the empty sheets in front of me. The Sun is almost out in a few hours and the moon is saying it’s goodbye as it takes it’s departure from another hopeless night. 
5am and poets await what a new day brings, will today be the day where we cease to write or the start of another chapter. We gather our ideas and convert them into feelings that society couldn’t bare to explain. A burden so deep, to sense emotions off the desperate and mixing it with our own. 
5am the lonely hour, the longest hour. 
The limbo between sunset and sunrise. 
It’s like time is sick of us, as we sit here and write words out of fears, madness, and  the unforgotten years. 
-SmileSick

El Paso, Texas

IMG_0967
She gave me a sight of hope, she also put me through hell. Her imperfections brought a smile to my face, a connection I cannot explain. My days blossomed into a romance as the night took over. I’m beginning to think that no matter what my fate is to be with her, often i ran away to find a better life, but some how I was always lead back to her.
These streets took me in at a young age, and I still remain loyal to her,
my thoughts, my every breath,
my first love, my city..
El Paso, Texas.. You’ve reminded me many times why I love what I do and to always love myself. Tonight you shine brighter than always because I realized how blessed I am to be taken under your wing.
-SmileSick